This dimension examines the manner in which people make decisions and reach conclusions – whether their decision-making is driven by logic or by values. Thinkers can objectify a decision: they have the ability to step back from the issue and analyze it logically and impersonally and will tend to make decisions based on the pros and cons of each choice.
Feelers operate in the opposite manner; they plunge into the issue, personalize the situation by asking themselves how they feel about it, how it will affect them and others, is it right or wrong, how it stacks up against their personal values.
It’s important to note here that neither is ‘better’ than the other. There are a lot of people who automatically assume that logic is a better way to make decisions than relying on values – however, we have to remember that Feelers tend to be more empathetic than Thinkers. Feelers are likely to be better communicators because they’re more aware (and caring for) of the feelings of other people.
As an example, a Thinker might believe that it’s acceptable to do something that’s seen as morally wrong, provided that they know that they will get away with it. A Feeler is much less likely to do so if that particular act goes against their own set of values or would harm someone else.
Applying Relationships and Compatibility
Each of these types of dimensions affects communication styles. You can use your understanding to help you in your relationships, both professional and personal.
Firstly, you can keep in mind both your strengths and your flaws in order to be a better communicator.
You should also keep in mind the compatibility of yourself and those around you. Whether you’re thinking about a potential business partner or a romantic relationship, the same ideas apply. There are benefits and drawbacks of building strong relationships with those who’re opposite to you in some ways, but if you’re different on too many fronts, it can spell disaster.
Thinkers-Assertive
Feelers-May lack assertiveness
Thinkers-Rarely mentions names
Feelers-Frequently uses names
Thinkers-Cooler and more distant
Feelers-Warmer and friendlier
Thinkers-Can appear insensitive
Feelers-Sensitive to feelings
Thinkers-Tendency to be blunt
Feelers-Usually diplomatic
Thinkers-Thick skinned
Feelers-More easily hurt
Thinkers-Matter of fact demeanor
Feelers-More excited
Thinkers-Appear businesslike
Feelers-Seem more friendly
Thinkers-Enjoys debates
Feelers-Avoids confrontation
Thinkers-Get straight to the point
Feelers-Will start with niceties
Thinkers-Sparing with praise
Feelers-Generous with praise
Thinkers-Doesn't consider the timing
Feelers-Usually has good timing
Thinkers-Impersonal language
Feelers-Uses many value words
Thinkers-Often engaged in strategic jobs
Feelers-Often engaged in helping jobs"
Thinkers (T)
T-types desire clarity and logical structure in their communications. When too much time is given to peripheral, personal, or irrelevant issues, or when others seem to ramble, they tune out and stop participating. Because T-types focus on the task, the problem, and the logic, Feelers may see Thinkers as uncaring, cold, critical, and negative.
Feelers (F)
F-types want their communications to have some sort of personal connection to them, to people, or to their values or interests. When the communication is coldly detached, they tune out, something they will also do when they don’t like the person who is talking, when interpersonal tensions are evident, and when others aren’t considering the full impact that their decisions will have on other people. T-types may regard F-types’ focus on people and relationships as too personal, irrelevant, and soft, while F-types’ intensity and expression of emotions may seem to T-types as irrational and illogical.
While there aren’t any hard and fast rules about compatibility, in general, you should
1. Consider your weaknesses, figure out what dimension that relates to, and work to build a relationship with someone who’s opposite to you on that spectrum. You should also lean against your known flaws where possible.
2. Try to ensure that not only are you building the right relationships but that you’re fulfilling the right roles. People who’re put in a position where they can’t thrive will lead to more confrontations and butting of heads. People who’re in roles that align with their personalities are more likely to be able to cover each other’s weaknesses and blind spots.
You want to be aligned in some ways and different in others. Surrounding yourself with people just like yourself leads to confirmation bias, but interacting with someone who’s the total opposite of you is going to end up being frustrating. Find a middle ground – as a rule of thumb, you can look for people who’re similar to you in two dimensions and different in two others.
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