Seeing as the Lord Sees
Let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature, created to be like God—truly righteous and holy.
(Ephesians 4:23-24)
Attitude has to do with the way I choose to think about things. It results from my focus. Two men looked through prison bars—one saw mud, the other stars. Two people were in a troubled marriage—one cursed, the other prayed. The difference is attitude.
Negative thinking tends to beget more negative thinking. Focus on how terrible the situation is, and it will begin to seem even worse. Focus on one positive thing, and another will appear. In the darkest night of a troubled marriage, there is always a flickering light. Focus on that light, and it will eventually flood the room.
Maintaining a positive attitude in a troubled marriage may seem impossible, but as Christians, we have outside help. The above passage from Ephesians 4 talks about allowing the Holy Spirit to renew our thoughts and attitudes. When we have been redeemed, we have a new nature and are no longer slaves to the old way of thinking.
If we ask the Lord, he will develop a new attitude in us. Consider praying this way: “Lord, help me to see my marriage the way you see it. Help me to view my spouse the way you view him or her. Help me to think the thoughts that you have toward him or her.” When you begin to see your spouse as a person beloved of God—a valuable person for whom Christ died—you will begin to develop a positive attitude.
Father, I often struggle with my attitude. I don’t want to be a slave to negative thinking, focusing only on the worst. Please transform my thinking. Show me how to focus on the good things. Give me wisdom to see my spouse and my marriage the way you see them. Please develop more love and optimism in me, for the good of my marriage.
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